heartache

heartache

my heart aches in it's current state
bleeding out from self inflicted wounds
my eyes choose the weapon, my hand grasps it, my mind stabs,
over and over again.

a dead looking heart.
A decaying mass of cells,
expand, contract...

where did this hatred come from?
where did this utter lack of love come from?
where did I lose sight of you?
when did I stop reflecting?
why is my heart black enough to hate,
but retains it's tenderness when exposed to light...

enough poeticy

my heart has alot of hatred in it...for alot of people.

Not that I hate them, but I have dislikes...and I've hurt people
and yes, there are some that it borders more on hatred than others...
but why?

ah! heart..love! Just like Jesus!

Love is such a beautiful thing!!! Sin is so disgusting, totally unnatractive.
Love love love love love, I want to love...

Daddy teach me how to love, to really love...
take my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh

God I need you so much, I need to be made into something beautiful, something humble, something you will not despise.

Teach me how to die! Show me where to start...where does Nathan start dying and Jesus begin living? GOD HELP ME! I need help with this...I can't do it on my own.

Jesus...I need your heart, your eyes, your mind, your hands....

gentle hands full of healing, your mind, with its beautiful thoughts, your eyes, to see with love, and to see how you see. Your heart, to pour out on people...

You're so wonderful...and gracious and compassionate. Slow to anger and rich in love...

Praise the Lord, oh my soul, praise the LORD!!!